聖經笑話

匿名 2016/8/14 00:09

第一個是第一天造光,第四天才造太陽和月亮!而且月亮會自行發光
1:3 [hb5] 　神說、要有光、就有了光。
   [kjv] And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
1:4 [hb5] 　神看光是好的、就把光暗分開了。
   [kjv] And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.
1:5 [hb5] 　神稱光為晝、稱暗為夜．有晚上、有早晨、這是頭一日。
   [kjv] And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.

1:14 [hb5] 　神說、天上要有光體、可以分晝夜、作記號、定節令、日子、年歲．
   [kjv] And God said, Let there be lights in the firmament of the heaven to divide the day from the night; and let them be for signs, and for seasons, and for days, and years:
1:15 [hb5] 並要發光在天空、普照在地上．事就這樣成了。
   [kjv] And let them be for lights in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth: and it was so.
1:16 [hb5] 於是　神造了兩個大光、大的管晝、小的管夜．又造眾星。
   [kjv] And God made two great lights; the greater light to rule the day, and the lesser light to rule the night: he made the stars also.
1:17 [hb5] 就把這些光擺列在天空、普照在地上、
   [kjv] And God set them in the firmament of the heaven to give light upon the earth,
1:18 [hb5] 管理晝夜、分別明暗．　神看著是好的．
   [kjv] And to rule over the day and over the night, and to divide the light from the darkness: and God saw that it was good.
1:19 [hb5] 有晚上、有早晨、是第四日。
   [kjv] And the evening and the morning were the fourth day.

匿名 2016/8/14 00:12

第二個,女人只是男人的肋骨!
2:21 [hb5] 耶和華　神使他沉睡、他就睡了．於是取下他的一條肋骨、又把肉合起來。
   [kjv] And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;
2:22 [hb5] 耶和華　神就用那人身上所取的肋骨、造成一個女人、領他到那人跟前。
   [kjv] And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.
2:23 [hb5] 那人說、這是我骨中的骨、肉中的肉、可以稱他為女人、因為他是從男人身上取出來的。
   [kjv] And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
2:24 [hb5] 因此、人要離開父母、與妻子連合、二人成為一體。
   [kjv] Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

匿名 2016/8/14 00:15

第三個,男與女與家族必須互相仇恨
3:15 [hb5] 我又要叫你和女人彼此為仇、你的後裔和女人的後裔、也彼此為仇．女人的後裔要傷你的頭、你要傷他的腳跟。
[kjv] And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.

匿名 2016/8/14 00:19

第四個,全知全能全善的神分配了職責,卻不要作物,逼使該隱殺死自己兄弟,卻沒有干預!明顯為亞當,夏娃的事報復!
4:2 [hb5] 又生了該隱的兄弟亞伯。亞伯是牧羊的．該隱是種地的。
   [kjv] And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
4:3 [hb5] 有一日、該隱拿地裡的出產為供物獻給耶和華．
   [kjv] And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.
4:4 [hb5] 亞伯也將他羊群中頭生的、和羊的脂油獻上．耶和華看中了亞伯和他的供物．
   [kjv] And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:
4:5 [hb5] 只是看不中該隱和他的供物．該隱就大大的發怒、變了臉色。
   [kjv] But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
4:6 [hb5] 耶和華對該隱說、你為甚麼發怒呢、你為甚麼變了臉色呢．
   [kjv] And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
4:7 [hb5] 你若行得好、豈不蒙悅納、你若行得不好、罪就伏在門前．他必戀慕你、你卻要制伏他。
   [kjv] If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
4:8 [hb5] 該隱與他兄弟亞伯說話、二人正在田間、該隱起來打他兄弟亞伯、把他殺了。
   [kjv] And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
4:9 [hb5] 耶和華對該隱說、你兄弟亞伯在那裡．他說、我不知道、我豈是看守我兄弟的嗎。
   [kjv] And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
4:10 [hb5] 耶和華說、你作了甚麼事呢、你兄弟的血、有聲音從地裡向我哀告。
   [kjv] And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
4:11 [hb5] 地開了口、從你手裡接受你兄弟的血．現在你必從這地受咒詛。
   [kjv] And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;

匿名 2016/8/14 00:21

第五個,無故出現的女人!若不是無故出現,那就是亂倫!
4:17 [hb5] 該隱與妻子同房、他妻子就懷孕、生了以諾、該隱建造了一座城、就按著他兒子的名將那城叫作以諾。
   [kjv] And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.
4:18 [hb5] 以諾生以拿、以拿生米戶雅利、米戶雅利生瑪土撒利、瑪土撒利生拉麥。
   [kjv] And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.
4:19 [hb5] 拉麥娶了兩個妻、一個名叫亞大、一個名叫洗拉。
   [kjv] And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.
4:20 [hb5] 亞大生雅八、雅八就是住帳棚牧養牲畜之人的祖師。
   [kjv] And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle.
4:21 [hb5] 雅八的兄弟名叫猶八．他是一切彈琴吹簫之人的祖師。
   [kjv] And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.
4:22 [hb5] 洗拉又生了土八該隱、他是打造各樣銅鐵利器的、〔或作是銅匠鐵匠的祖師〕土八該隱的妹子是拿瑪。
   [kjv] And Zillah, she also bare Tubalcain, an instructer of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubalcain was Naamah.

匿名 2016/8/14 00:31

第六個!從亞當至挪亞,只有千多,二千年,再至亞伯拉罕又是千多,二千年,再加上亞伯拉罕出現時是bc2800,再加上現在是ce2016年,都不過一萬年而科學證實有數十億年,至少中國香港世界地質公園有說香港的部份岩石達至寒武纪時代!
5:1 [hb5] 亞當的後代、記在下面。當　神造人的日子、是照著自己的樣式造的、
   [kjv] This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;
5:2 [hb5] 並且造男造女、在他們被造的日子、　神賜福給他們、稱他們為人。
   [kjv] Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
5:3 [hb5] 亞當活到一百三十歲、生了一個兒子、形像樣式和自己相似、就給他起名叫塞特。
   [kjv] And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth:
5:4 [hb5] 亞當生塞特之後、又在世八百年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
5:5 [hb5] 亞當共活了九百三十歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.
5:6 [hb5] 塞特活到一百零五歲、生了以挪士。
   [kjv] And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:
5:7 [hb5] 塞特生以挪士之後、又活了八百零七年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:8 [hb5] 塞特共活了九百一十二歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died.
5:9 [hb5] 以挪士活到九十歲、生了該南。
   [kjv] And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:
5:10 [hb5] 以挪士生該南之後、又活了八百一十五年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:11 [hb5] 以挪士共活了九百零五歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.
5:12 [hb5] 該南活到七十歲、生了瑪勒列。
   [kjv] And Cainan lived seventy years, and begat Mahalaleel:
5:13 [hb5] 該南生瑪勒列之後、又活了八百四十年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:14 [hb5] 該南共活了九百一十歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.
5:15 [hb5] 瑪勒列活到六十五歲、生了雅列。
   [kjv] And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:
5:16 [hb5] 瑪勒列生雅列之後、又活了八百三十年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:17 [hb5] 瑪勒列共活了八百九十五歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.
5:18 [hb5] 雅列活到一百六十二歲、生了以諾。
   [kjv] And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:
5:19 [hb5] 雅列生以諾之後、又活了八百年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:20 [hb5] 雅列共活了九百六十二歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.
5:21 [hb5] 以諾活到六十五歲、生了瑪土撒拉。
   [kjv] And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:
5:22 [hb5] 以諾生瑪土撒拉之後、與　神同行三百年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:23 [hb5] 以諾共活了三百六十五歲。
   [kjv] And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:
5:24 [hb5] 以諾與　神同行、　神將他取去、他就不在世了。
   [kjv] And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.
5:25 [hb5] 瑪土撒拉活到一百八十七歲、生了拉麥。
   [kjv] And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech:
5:26 [hb5] 瑪土撒拉生拉麥之後、又活了七百八十二年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:27 [hb5] 瑪土撒拉共活了九百六十九歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.
5:28 [hb5] 拉麥活到一百八十二歲、生了一個兒子、
   [kjv] And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:
5:29 [hb5] 給他起名叫挪亞、說、這個兒子必為我們的操作、和手中的勞苦、安慰我們．這操作勞苦是因為耶和華咒詛地。
   [kjv] And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed.
5:30 [hb5] 拉麥生挪亞之後、又活了五百九十五年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:
5:31 [hb5] 拉麥共活了七百七十七歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.
5:32 [hb5] 挪亞五百歲生了閃、含、雅弗。
   [kjv] And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.

7:24 [hb5] 水勢浩大、在地上共一百五十天。
   [kjv] And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.
8:6 [hb5] 過了四十天、挪亞開了方舟的窗戶、
   [kjv] And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:

9:28 [hb5] 洪水以後、挪亞又活了三百五十年。
   [kjv] And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
9:29 [hb5] 挪亞共活了九百五十歲就死了。
   [kjv] And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

11:1 [hb5] 那時、天下人的口音言語、都是一樣。
   [kjv] And the whole earth was of one language, and of one speech.
11:2 [hb5] 他們往東邊遷移的時候、在示拿地遇見一片平原、就住在那裡。
   [kjv] And it came to pass, as they journeyed from the east, that they found a plain in the land of Shinar; and they dwelt there.
11:3 [hb5] 他們彼此商量說、來罷、我們要作磚、把磚燒透了。他們就拿磚當石頭、又拿石漆當灰泥。
   [kjv] And they said one to another, Go to, let us make brick, and burn them thoroughly. And they had brick for stone, and slime had they for morter.
11:4 [hb5] 他們說、來罷、我們要建造一座城、和一座塔、塔頂通天、為要傳揚我們的名、免得我們分散在全地上。
   [kjv] And they said, Go to, let us build us a city and a tower, whose top may reach unto heaven; and let us make us a name, lest we be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth.
11:5 [hb5] 耶和華降臨要看看世人所建造的城和塔。
   [kjv] And the LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which the children of men builded.
11:6 [hb5] 耶和華說、看哪、他們成為一樣的人民、都是一樣的言語、如今既作起這事來、以後他們所要作的事、就沒有不成就的了。
   [kjv] And the LORD said, Behold, the people is one, and they have all one language; and this they begin to do: and now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.
11:7 [hb5] 我們下去、在那裡變亂他們的口音、使他們的言語、彼此不通。
   [kjv] Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
11:8 [hb5] 於是耶和華使他們從那裡分散在全地上．他們就停工、不造那城了。
   [kjv] So the LORD scattered them abroad from thence upon the face of all the earth: and they left off to build the city.
11:9 [hb5] 因為耶和華在那裡變亂天下人的言語、使眾人分散在全地上、所以那城名叫巴別。〔就是變亂的意思〕
   [kjv] Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.
11:10 [hb5] 閃的後代記在下面．洪水以後二年、閃一百歲生了亞法撒。
   [kjv] These are the generations of Shem: Shem was an hundred years old, and begat Arphaxad two years after the flood:
11:11 [hb5] 閃生亞法撒之後、又活了五百年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Shem lived after he begat Arphaxad five hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:12 [hb5] 亞法撒活到三十五歲、生了沙拉．
   [kjv] And Arphaxad lived five and thirty years, and begat Salah:
11:13 [hb5] 亞法撒生沙拉之後、又活了四百零三年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Arphaxad lived after he begat Salah four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:14 [hb5] 沙拉活到三十歲、生了希伯．
   [kjv] And Salah lived thirty years, and begat Eber:
11:15 [hb5] 沙拉生希伯之後、又活了四百零三年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Salah lived after he begat Eber four hundred and three years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:16 [hb5] 希伯活到三十四歲、生了法勒．
   [kjv] And Eber lived four and thirty years, and begat Peleg:
11:17 [hb5] 希伯生法勒之後、又活了四百三十年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Eber lived after he begat Peleg four hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:18 [hb5] 法勒活到三十歲、生了拉吳．
   [kjv] And Peleg lived thirty years, and begat Reu:
11:19 [hb5] 法勒生拉吳之後、又活了二百零九年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Peleg lived after he begat Reu two hundred and nine years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:20 [hb5] 拉吳活到三十二歲、生了西鹿．
   [kjv] And Reu lived two and thirty years, and begat Serug:
11:21 [hb5] 拉吳生西鹿之後、又活了二百零七年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Reu lived after he begat Serug two hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:22 [hb5] 西鹿活到三十歲、生了拿鶴．
   [kjv] And Serug lived thirty years, and begat Nahor:
11:23 [hb5] 西鹿生拿鶴之後、又活了二百年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Serug lived after he begat Nahor two hundred years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:24 [hb5] 拿鶴活到二十九歲、生了他拉．
   [kjv] And Nahor lived nine and twenty years, and begat Terah:
11:25 [hb5] 拿鶴生他拉之後、又活了一百一十九年．並且生兒養女。
   [kjv] And Nahor lived after he begat Terah an hundred and nineteen years, and begat sons and daughters.
11:26 [hb5] 他拉活到七十歲、生了亞伯蘭、拿鶴、哈蘭。
   [kjv] And Terah lived seventy years, and begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran.
11:27 [hb5] 他拉的後代、記在下面．他拉生亞伯蘭、拿鶴、哈蘭．哈蘭生羅得。
   [kjv] Now these are the generations of Terah: Terah begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begat Lot.
11:28 [hb5] 哈蘭死在他的本地迦勒底的吾珥、在他父親他拉之先。
   [kjv] And Haran died before his father Terah in the land of his nativity, in Ur of the Chaldees.
11:29 [hb5] 亞伯蘭、拿鶴、各娶了妻．亞伯蘭的妻子名叫撒萊．拿鶴的妻子名叫密迦、是哈蘭的女兒．哈蘭是密迦和亦迦的父親。
   [kjv] And Abram and Nahor took them wives: the name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife, Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah, and the father of Iscah.
11:30 [hb5] 撒萊不生育、沒有孩子。
   [kjv] But Sarai was barren; she had no child.
11:31 [hb5] 他拉帶著他兒子亞伯蘭、和他孫子哈蘭的兒子羅得、並他兒婦亞伯蘭的妻子撒萊、出了迦勒底的吾珥、要往迦南地去、他們走到哈蘭就住在那裡。
   [kjv] And Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran his son's son, and Sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram's wife; and they went forth with them from Ur of the Chaldees, to go into the land of Canaan; and they came unto Haran, and dwelt there.
11:32 [hb5] 他拉共活了二百零五歲、就死在哈蘭。
   [kjv] And the days of Terah were two hundred and five years: and Terah died in Haran.

12:1 [hb5] 耶和華對亞伯蘭說、你要離開本地、本族、父家、往我所要指示你的地去。
   [kjv] Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father's house, unto a land that I will shew thee:
12:2 [hb5] 我必叫你成為大國．我必賜福給你、叫你的名為大、你也要叫別人得福．
   [kjv] And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing:
12:3 [hb5] 為你祝福的、我必賜福與他、那咒詛你的、我必咒詛他、地上的萬族都要因你得福。
   [kjv] And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
12:4 [hb5] 亞伯蘭就照著耶和華的吩咐去了．羅得也和他同去．亞伯蘭出哈蘭的時候、年七十五歲。
   [kjv] So Abram departed, as the LORD had spoken unto him; and Lot went with him: and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out of Haran.

匿名 2016/8/14 00:40

第七個,方舟容納不了這麼多動物!和供動物一百五十天所吃的食物!單是兩頭象食物重量己達「一天一隻成年象可以吃進30到60千克食物，所以有60%的食物會被排出去。」的兩倍,有些家迪還要14頭!維基說的「（肘，以0.445米計算，133.5米，437.99英尺），寬50腕尺（22.3米，73.163英尺），高30腕尺（13.4米，43.963英尺），方舟長度大約是伊麗莎白女王二號郵輪一半長。若這艘方舟真的曾建成，其大小及排水量約為著名的鐵達尼號（排水量約5萬3千公頓）的五分之三。方舟總的容積達40000立方米，底倉面積8900平方米。」

而鐵達尼號載人數
「容積頭等艙833人，二等艙614人，三等艙1,006人。合計客艙數2,453人
船員 1,094人」

6:14 [hb5] 你要用歌斐木造一隻方舟、分一間一間的造、裡外抹上松香。
   [kjv] Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
6:15 [hb5] 方舟的造法乃是這樣、要長三百肘、寬五十肘、高三十肘。
   [kjv] And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
6:16 [hb5] 方舟上邊要留透光處、高一肘．方舟的門要開在旁邊．方舟要分上、中、下三層。
   [kjv] A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
6:17 [hb5] 看哪、我要使洪水氾濫在地上、毀滅天下、凡地上有血肉、有氣息的活物、無一不死。
   [kjv] And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.

6:19 [hb5] 凡有血肉的活物、每樣兩個、一公一母、你要帶進方舟、好在你那裡保全生命。
   [kjv] And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.
6:20 [hb5] 飛鳥各從其類、牲畜各從其類、地上的昆蟲各從其類、每樣兩個、要到你那裡、好保全生命。
   [kjv] Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.
6:21 [hb5] 你要拿各樣食物積蓄起來、好作你和他們的食物。
   [kjv] And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.

7:24       [hb5]       水勢浩大、在地上共一百五十天。
         [kjv]       And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.

7:2 [hb5] 凡潔淨的畜類、你要帶七公七母．不潔淨的畜類、你要帶一公一母．
   [kjv] Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
7:3 [hb5] 空中的飛鳥、也要帶七公七母、可以留種、活在全地上、
   [kjv] Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.

匿名 2016/8/14 00:41

以後再更!

manzasd 2016/8/14 00:47

這是我剛註冊的號,以後一定會繼續更,去嘲笑不合理的智障教徒!

manzasd 2016/8/14 00:56

第八個,導致摩門教教徒吞耶和華見證人教徒不為自己親人輸血的借口!
9:4 [hb5] 惟獨肉帶著血、那就是他的生命、你們不可喫。
   [kjv] But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.
9:5 [hb5] 流你們血害你們命的、無論是獸、是人、我必討他的罪、就是向各人的弟兄也是如此。
   [kjv] And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.
9:6 [hb5] 凡流人血的、他的血也必被人所流、因為　神造人、是照自己的形像造的。
   [kjv] Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.

17:11 [hb5] 因為活物的生命是在血中．我把這血賜給你們、可以在壇上為你們的生命贖罪．因血裡有生命、所以能贖罪．
   [kjv] For the life of the flesh is in the blood: and I have given it to you upon the altar to make an atonement for your souls: for it is the blood that maketh an atonement for the soul.

匿名 2016/8/14 01:07

manzasd就是新註冊的號

沙文 2016/8/14 01:19

,都不過一萬年
Guest from 14.199.33.x 發表於 2016/8/13 08:31

边有咁多?根據天主教James Ussher大主教推算, 天主於4004 BCE 10月22日下午6時創世, 至今6,020年
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_Ussher

旁觀者 2016/8/14 02:41

妖書根本怪力亂神、滿紙荒誕，信者神經都有問題。

beebeechan 2016/8/14 02:47

這是我剛註冊的號,以後一定會繼續更,去嘲笑不合理的智障教徒!
manzasd 發表於 2016/8/14 00:47

我睇見你，就一早笑左出黎先哩

beebeechan 2016/8/14 03:02

本帖最後由 beebeechan 於 2016/8/14 03:04 編輯

边有咁多?根據天主教James Ussher大主教推算, 天主於4004 BCE 10月22日下午6時創世, 至今6,020年
...
沙文發表於 2016/8/14 01:19

亞里士多德和柏拉圖、蘇格拉底（柏拉圖的老師）一起被譽為西方哲學的奠基者。
那時的亞里士多德是認為太陽繞地球轉的。

4004 BCE 10月22日下午6時創世，太陽繞地球。。。是當時人類知識範疇內可能的事。

沙文 2016/8/14 05:39

係呀, 大主教果然比騷格勒底進步2,000年,

有豐富生活常識: 下午6時創世 - 當時人類啱啱食緊飯, 發夢冇咁早.
當時大主教真係早抖

manzasd 2016/8/14 06:30

回覆 15# beebeechan

只知亞里士多德,柏拉圖和蘇格拉底就不知阿里斯塔克斯,畢達哥拉斯?既然如此沒文化,就不要過來討打!而蘇格拉底亦沒有支持地心說!是亞里士多德和柏拉圖支持,你就沒有提!蘇格拉底的辯證法可是教導我們要質疑。為何不提蘇格拉底沒有支持地心說!蘇格拉底也是西方哲學的奠基者!

「太陽繞地球。。。是當時人類知識範疇內可能的事。」除了阿里斯塔克斯,畢達哥拉斯不是人類?

還想說什麼智障說話?我等你!

manzasd 2016/8/14 06:47

第九個!騙人的因為是先知所以沒有問題,被騙的因為是被先知騙,所以就有問題!
20:2 [hb5] 亞伯拉罕稱他的妻撒拉為妹子、基拉耳王亞比米勒差人把撒拉取了去。
   [kjv] And Abraham said of Sarah his wife, She is my sister: and Abimelech king of Gerar sent, and took Sarah.
20:3 [hb5] 但夜間　神來在夢中、對亞比米勒說、你是個死人哪、因為你取了那女人來、他原是別人的妻子。
   [kjv] But God came to Abimelech in a dream by night, and said to him, Behold, thou art but a dead man, for the woman which thou hast taken; for she is a man's wife.
20:4 [hb5] 亞比米勒卻還沒有親近撒拉．他說、主阿、連有義的國你也要毀滅麼。
   [kjv] But Abimelech had not come near her: and he said, LORD, wilt thou slay also a righteous nation?
20:5 [hb5] 那人豈不是自己對我說、他是我的妹子麼．就是女人也自己說、他是我的哥哥．我作這事、是心正手潔的。
   [kjv] Said he not unto me, She is my sister? and she, even she herself said, He is my brother: in the integrity of my heart and innocency of my hands have I done this.
20:6 [hb5] 　神在夢中對他說、我知道你作這事是心中正直、我也攔阻了你、免得你得罪我、所以我不容你沾著他。
   [kjv] And God said unto him in a dream, Yea, I know that thou didst this in the integrity of thy heart; for I also withheld thee from sinning against me: therefore suffered I thee not to touch her.
20:7 [hb5] 現在你把這人的妻子歸還他、因為他是先知、他要為你禱告、使你存活．你若不歸還他、你當知道、你和你所有的人、都必要死。
   [kjv] Now therefore restore the man his wife; for he is a prophet, and he shall pray for thee, and thou shalt live: and if thou restore her not, know thou that thou shalt surely die, thou, and all that are thine.

manzasd 2016/8/14 06:50

第十個!全知全能的神竟然需要試探以得虛實!
22:1 [hb5] 這些事以後、　神要試驗亞伯拉罕、就呼叫他說、亞伯拉罕、他說、我在這裡。
[kjv] And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.
22:2 [hb5] 　神說、你帶著你的兒子、就是你獨生的兒子、你所愛的以撒、往摩利亞地去、在我所要指示你的山上、把他獻為燔祭。
[kjv] And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

manzasd 2016/8/14 06:53

第十一個!全知全能的神竟然被自己的使者和試探的人騙了也不知!還是說亞伯拉罕的兒子是公羊 !
22:11 [hb5] 耶和華的使者從天上呼叫他說、亞伯拉罕、亞伯拉罕、他說、我在這裡。
   [kjv] And the angel of the LORD called unto him out of heaven, and said, Abraham, Abraham: and he said, Here am I.
22:12 [hb5] 天使說、你不可在這童子身上下手、一點不可害他．現在我知道你是敬畏　神的了、因為你沒有將你的兒子、就是你獨生的兒子、留下不給我。
   [kjv] And he said, Lay not thine hand upon the lad, neither do thou any thing unto him: for now I know that thou fearest God, seeing thou hast not withheld thy son, thine only son from me.
22:13 [hb5] 亞伯拉罕舉目觀看、不料、有一隻公羊、兩角扣在稠密的小樹中、亞伯拉罕就取了那隻公羊來、獻為燔祭、代替他的兒子。
   [kjv] And Abraham lifted up his eyes, and looked, and behold behind him a ram caught in a thicket by his horns: and Abraham went and took the ram, and offered him up for a burnt offering in the stead of his son.
22:14 [hb5] 亞伯拉罕給那地方起名叫耶和華以勒、〔意思就是耶和華必預備〕直到今日人還說、在耶和華的山上必有預備。
   [kjv] And Abraham called the name of that place Jehovahjireh: as it is said to this day, In the mount of the LORD it shall be seen.
22:15 [hb5] 耶和華的使者第二次從天上呼叫亞伯拉罕說、
   [kjv] And the angel of the LORD called unto Abraham out of heaven the second time,
22:16 [hb5] 耶和華說你既行了這事、不留下你的兒子、就是你獨生的兒子、我便指著自己起誓說、
   [kjv] And said, By myself have I sworn, saith the LORD, for because thou hast done this thing, and hast not withheld thy son, thine only son:
22:17 [hb5] 論福、我必賜大福給你、論子孫、我必叫你的子孫多起來、如同天上的星、海邊的沙、你子孫必得著仇敵的城門。
   [kjv] That in blessing I will bless thee, and in multiplying I will multiply thy seed as the stars of the heaven, and as the sand which is upon the sea shore; and thy seed shall possess the gate of his enemies;
22:18 [hb5] 並且地上萬國都必因你的後裔得福、因為你聽從了我的話．
   [kjv] And in thy seed shall all the nations of the earth be blessed; because thou hast obeyed my voice.

manzasd 2016/8/14 07:05

回覆 12# 沙文

早已說是聖經笑話,當然要以聖經為主,大主教的烏雪年表則不予置評。

1 [2] >

返回首頁 | 登錄 | 註冊